The Kim Kardashian Effect

It's the Vanity Fair May 2004 Edition and a dated picture of Jackie Kennedy Onassis adorns the cover. Splattered around the edges are headlines of a special report on " The rush to invade Iraq, " a piece on the Martha Stewart insider trading debacle and the 2004 Oscars. Like all fashion magazines, there are full page spreads featuring elite models like Kate Moss hawking designer duds. The movie stars are not left behind as they mug for the cameras and endorse fashion brands.

The year 2014 -Exactly a decade has passed and not much has changed .The pages of magazines are still filled with the models, Kate Moss still reigns supreme though facing stiff competition from a younger Brit, Cara Delevigne, Martha Stewart is the subject matter of a litigation between Macy's and J.C Penny  and the Twitterverse( yes the social media entity created in 2006 ) is agog with the news that Kim Kardashian landed the cover of Vogue magazine.

To those who have been living under a rock, Vogue is the official style bible of the fashion world. I remember as a child spending my bored weekends poring through my fashion designer mother's stash of old Vogues, not looking for fashion inspiration but sniffing perfume samples and imagining I was one of the impeccably dressed guests in their "people and parties" column. With different versions across the world, Vogue is the venerable guide for all fashionistas.

The next question on the rock dwellers mind would be " who is Kim Kardashian and why the raucous over her being given the sacrosanct and coveted position on the cover of the fashion tome?" This requires a little bit of history. Back in 2007, Kim Kardashian was a little known dweller of Calabasas, California. Born to an American Armenian attorney, known famously as O.J Simpson's attorney, Kim and her four siblings were blessed with exotic looks. But it was not just her exotic looks, as the American-Armenian community can testify, that propelled her into the limelight. Of course being in the upper middle class echelons afforded her the fortutity of being friends with spawn of legitimate celebrities, (her most famous associate before her big break being Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton hotel empire), but that was not enough to catapult her to overnight stardom.

What made this naive, already been married at the nascent age of nineteen years old, strikingly beautiful lady a "celebrity" was a sex tape she had made with R n B singer Ray J which leaked in 2007. I personally have not seen this body of work but it was intense enough to make the world ask " Who is that girl?"
The E! network provided the answer and introduced the world to the kooky world of the Kardashians. Interestingly focused on Kim and her sisters, the Kardashians were actually spearheaded by a new patriach, Olympian Bruce Jenner, who mama Jenner married following a divorce from the now late Robert Kardashian.

The on-screen and off-screen candour of the Kardashian/Jenner clan were a conversation piece and hate them or love them, everyone was talking about the Kardashians, especially Kim and her ever bourgeoning physical "assets." A reality show fueled by America's thirst for celebrity has spurned millions of dollars in endorsement deals, a best selling book, cosmetic and perfume lines for the Kardashians but most especially for the lady who started it all- Kim Kardashian.

The show has seen her married, seeking a divorce under a record thirty-eight days, pregnant while still married to another man and now a mother and fiancée to one of the world's most controversial yet prolific artiste's; Kanye West. Kim Kardashian who to some might be deemed a fashion "designer" (courtesy her numerous fashion lines with her sisters), was given a push up the fashion ladder by new beau Kanye. An episode of her reality show once showed him giving her a wardrobe makeover resulting in a surprisingly more stylish looking Kim.

A beautiful baby, a fiancée and the world at her feet were however not enough for Kim as rumours swirled through the mill that despite having her face splattered across the pages of several notable magazines, she longed to conquer Vogue. Vogue followers worldwide mocked her ambition. Sure she could record a song, nab endorsements and star in movies(The counsellor, cringe), but she would never grace the cover of Vogue under the watchful eyes of Anna Wintour, the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue magazine, the head bitch in charge of the Vogue coven and inspiration for hit movie,"The Devil wears Prada." It was alleged that Anna despised Kim and thought of her as reality T.V trash, reportedly approving a picture of Kanye with Kim unceremoniously cropped out.

The Vogue followers slept soundly and blissfully unaware that their world was about to be rocked until the 22nd of March, 2014 when they would awoke to the news that Kim was on the cover of Vogue!! What happened to Wintour's supposed vow that Kim would never make the cover? Anger and sadness washed over Vogue devotees as they realised that they had been hoodwinked and they took to their twitter accounts to vent.

Vogue knew what every good marketing team knew. With today's obsession with celebrity and Kim's unbridled fame, this would probably be their best selling edition ever. Coupled with Kanye West who cradled his wife to be on the cover, they had opened up an entirely new demographic for Vogue. Many stoic believers of Vogue had threatened to cancel their subscriptions but there would just as more ready to subscribe and even buy a magazine which previously had no appeal to them. Many have threatened to buy the magazine just to burn it, but that's good enough for Vogue, the magazine gets sold. For many it wasn't just about sales, it was a seeming validation and a stamp of approval of  someone who is for the most part conceived as vapid and superficial.

While I do not validate Kim's initial claim to fame, none of us is in a position to judge her for the decisions she has made in the past (even though I would throw her lots of shade for simulating sex in a music video with her fiancée). If Lena Dunham (the perpetually naked even if it's just on a T.V show actress) could make the cover so can Kim. She has managed to create a new breed of celebrity. A bankable celebrity lacking for the most part in artistic, athletic or creative abilities but is distinctly attractive genetically or otherwise (with an impeccable sense of style). And for that alone, Kim deserves to be on the cover of Vogue.

The Gwyneth Paltrow complex

Born to a movie producer father and a Tony award winning actress mother, Gwyneth Paltrow is Hollywood royalty. It doesn't hurt that she is married to a world famous rock star, Chris Martin. It also doesn't hurt that she has two beautiful, healthy children and still looks phenomenal. It doesn't hurt that in addition to being an Oscar award winning actress, she is a singer, cook, author, lifestyle blogger, business woman, health & fitness enthusiast, and just an all round diva(I mean that in the "ubarnesque" definition). It also does not hurt that this year, People magazine crowned her the most beautiful woman in the world.

It's little wonder that she ranks highly in Hollywood's "most hated" list. I don't know too much about the selection criteria of this list and whether it actually exists but that is what the media would like us to believe. Somewhere out there is a list compiled by non celebrities and one of the women they hate the most is Gwyneth Paltrow. This however DOES NOT stop the phenomenon known as Gwyneth Paltrow. 

She has not whined about the awesomeness of her life or even tried the curry the favour of the media to make reports about her "divatude" more palatable. She still puts out pricey vacation spots and suggests impossible diets on her blog GOOP. She still writes unapologetically about having the advantage of living both in London and in America (bi-continental), her children being exposed to two cultures and speaking foreign languages courtesy the Spanish nanny. She is notoriously anti-carbs and looks fit as a fiddle for a forty year old. She never looks sloppy, and is always making a fashion statement. She looks like the most put together person on the planet, even while upstaging authors at a book fair( the "legitimate" authors were not pleased). That IS the Gwyneth Paltrow complex. It is living your life to the fullest unapologetically. 

The Gwyneth Paltrow complex is living your life for you, and not listening to what the haters have to say. Every time you try to push the boundaries and attempt something new, there will always be naysayers, and when you succeed, they will hate, that much is inevitable. Negativity and jealousy comes with the territory called Success, so if you are sure that you want to be successful, get used to it. The G.P Complex is in no way an ode to Gwyneth Paltrow, I'm sure like all human beings she is fallible with just as many flaws as the rest of us. What is paramount with the G.P Complex is not just the acceptance of who you are, but the celebration of it, even if no one else does. Unleash your inner G.P Complex today. 

Everybody loves a winner!!

A little over a week ago, the golf tournament popularly known as “The Masters” was won by Aussie golfer, Adam Scott. Not only did he dash Tiger Woods’ dream of earning his 15^th Masters title, but he walked away with a whooping $ 8,000,000 (Eight Million Dollar) in prize money and the much coveted green jacket, which according to my research signifies a winner’s entry into an exclusive club of… well… winners. Rolex, apparently the newest champion’s sponsor and groupie put out an ad boldly splashing the caption, “ Rolex and Adam Scott, united by the quest for perfection.” I am not sure if this ad existed before he won the tournament, but it is the perfect illustration of the saying, “Everybody loves a winner.” I wonder if he would still have been celebrated if he finished off at the bottom of the tournament.

Their gesture was quite reminiscent of the sports brand Nike, who declared “Winning takes care of everything,’ with their star athlete Tiger Woods smug at being back as the world’s No.1 after a frustrating couple of years at the bottom of the golfing food chain with infidelity scandals and injury. Many thought it was in poor taste, with a cheeky message to the world, that no matter what you may have done, winning makes it all better.

Mega brands are ultimately success and fame whores who love you when you are at the top, but drop you in the midst of any controversy which may allude to failure. The perfect example is Rick Ross, whose bearded behind was given the boot last week by Reebok with his seemingly pro-date rape lyrics from his U.O.E.N.O (I'm sorry but I don’t have a care in the world as to what this stands for). He allegedly tweeted an “apology,” before finally releasing a proper apology which was longer than his earlier seven worded one.  The damage unfortunately has been done with Reebok back in the market for someone else to promote their brand.

But no one knows better the hall of shame and the pain of being dumped by a big brand, better than John Galliano, former fashion industry darling. As the head designer of legendary fashion houses; Givenchy and Christian Dior, he was touted as outrageous and brilliant, with the rich and famous as not just his clients, but friends. Fast forward to 2011, when he was suspended by the House of Dior for an arrest stemming from anti-Semitic comments. He was subsequently dismissed by the house and became a fashion industry pariah, probably paying people to wear his clothes. He is slowly staging a comeback, having received some absolution from the Anti-Defamation League and worked with Oscar De Larenta on his 2013 ready to wear collection. The road to recovery is however still a long one for him, having recently been banned from dressing an Isreali Eurovision contestant, a fall out of his past mistakes.

While success is to be celebrated and enjoyed, it is to be remembered that it can be fleeting. In the words of Bill Gates, 'Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.'

Women's Month

Last week marked two auspicious female celebratory events and that was the International Women's Day and Mother's day. And while i thought it apt not only to declare this month Women's month but also to put up a post in celebration of women worldwide, my post on Women took a bit of a hit. I had started by quoting American country singer(Taylor Swift) quoting an unknown quote by an American broadcaster (Katie Couric);"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. The young singer was passionately defending herself against a joke cracked by two female comedians about her very public and numerous relationships. I then went to town to explore the notion that even though International Women's Day is probably supposed to be a celebration about the gender equality, women empowerment and the giant strides and achievement women have attained through the ages, it was a universal fact that, ' Women are women's own enemies.'

I highlighted instances where women would gossip,snitch and back stab and generally stand in the way of each other's success( because frankly, having gone to an all girls secondary school, and having 90% female friends most of my life, this was my reality). I felt reasonably smug when my post was done even though it was seeming more like a war manual on 'how to protect yourself from the women in your life.'

This was of course until i spoke to my mother and brother who made me come to the conclusion that it wasn't about women loving each other or any of the other self righteous things i had professed. My mum told me about how supportive she and her few friends were of each other,they did business together and basically created a strong support system for each other. And thinking about it, I know a few women in my life that are downright fabulous in every sense of the word. I soon came to the realization that it isn't so much the second of the person, it's about the individual.In my brother's words, it's about not seeking affirmation or self validation from anyone else.Only you can hold yourself back...not the support or lack of from anyone. You need absolutely no one's permission to be successful, or to live your life.Be you male or female, be fiercely and fabulously you. Happy Women's March!!

Not so Carrie Bradshaw

To be Carrie Bradshaw is every girl’s dream. Live in a fabulous city and have a fabulous job minus the Mr. Big drama. We want to pen down our lives, get published, meet the man of our dreams and live happily ever after.

Not to be a pessimist and put a downer on all our sex and the city aspirations, I mean it could happen, but clearly not in this city.  True, Lagos and New York are both concrete jungles where dreams are made, but there are a few outstanding differences that would stifle even the most hopeful.

First of all, consider dropping the “sex” from your dream title. We all know it, us Nigerian girls are raised good and decent and don’t indulge in as many amorous relationships with multiple fellows. The truth is all us girls really want to do is find ‘the one’ and settle down. There’s no such thing as “sex just for the heck of it, as so often channeled by Samantha. If you however dare to indulge in mindless sex, you can change your sequel to “Whore in the City” as aptly titled by the men you slept with.

Next stop, the ridiculous Louboutins and Jimmy Choos. Sure, we simply adore Carrie’s shoe collection and some of us have an almost intimidation shoe collection of our own, but would we really traipse around in red backs all day… I think not. More like hell no!!These shoes probably cost you (or your ‘friend’) a fortune to acquire and there’s no way you would let the uneven, un-tarred roads of Lagos destroy them.

Hailing down the taxis…. Okay so this might actually work….But erm… you might want to calculate where exactly on the road you raise that pretty hand, what with the 'need for speed' danfos and purse snatching okadas. So maybe you could try one hand hailing the cab, with the second one tightly clutching your bag under your armpit.

The last drop of rain on your Carrie wannabe parade would be the three supportive and successful friends who absolutely love and support each other. That would be replaced instead by two 'frenemies,’ who are in an incessant competition over who has the best job, nicer shoes, and hotter man. But not to worry, you'll always have that one best friend who genuinely loves you...just for the sake of balance.

All things being considered, my life's movie, if there ever was one, would simply be 'Life happens, deal with it.'